Networking And The Law of Reciprocity
(I recently published this in my weekly Ezine – From the Brain Bucket and received a number of requests to post it as a blog. I’ve abridged it for this format)
Strong business networks aren’t built over night and require a lot of time and effort, which is one reason few ever build one. Another reason is that when just starting out building a network can seem as complicated as rocket science. You walk into a room filled with people you do not know but need to – and questions begin to rattle around your brain.
How do you start the conversation? What do you say when you do? How do you not look dumb in the process?
These thoughts cause a lot of people, young and old, to stand in the farthest corner of the room with a drink watching conversations and counting the minutes until they leave. But it doesn’t have to be so – you simply need to execute the Law of Reciprocity.
Simply put, the law states that if you do something for someone, they will in turn do something to help you. In networking, this help comes in the form of introductions so after shaking hands and exchanged names, here are the four questions I always use during the conversation and why:
Tell me what you do? An obvious question, but it’s deeper than that. Just knowing he’s a banker isn’t enough. Does he work in the commercial or retail area…private banking or investments? If she’s an attorney, is her focus real estate…business or family law?
This is important to know because it gives you an idea who he or she will need to meet and it leads nicely into the next question.
What does your customer look like? I love this question because it has a life beyond this particular event. Their answer is now in your memory bank for when, in the future, a friend or colleague asks if you know anyone who does ‘X’.
That type of referral gives you a ‘twofer’ in that it makes you incredibly valuable to both as you’ve helped to benefit two people in one shot.
What brings you here today/this evening? I find this question the most interesting of them all as it gives you insight into where they are in their career or what type of project they are working on at this time. And their answer tells you whether or not they are the type of person you want to get to know better.
If they say that the boss told them to come, then they obviously aren’t someone you want to know as they have no motivation to be there. But if they begin describing their project or discuss a specific solution then you’re getting a deeper understanding of what they need and will make your helping them easier. And it’s a great jumping point into the next question.
Who within this room would you like to meet? There’s always someone in the room they’d like to meet but haven’t. Yes, left to their own devices this meeting might take place without you, but if you can facilitate the meeting, it’s another chip in your pocket.
Think of your network as the turbo charger on your economic engine – you may not always use it, but it’s sure nice to have when you need it.
Dwain – The Biker Guy
As always – These are my thoughts and I look forward to yours. So, if you disagree or simply want to pile on, please do so here on the BLOG or email me directly at Navigator@BikersGuidetoBusiness.Com I look forward to hearing from you.




2 Comments
The Law of Reciprocity? You never know from whom it may come from. In our everyday work experiences. We do our jobs and maybe never think that someone is watching our work ethic day in and day out. The Law of Reciprocity… show interest, ask questions, study, become involved, study what the other person is doing. Like Dwain has stated, if the statement is the boss told me to come, then there is no personal gain or interest there.You want to become involved with the passion behind what drives someone, get involved with that person. Learn from them, embrace their knowledge and move forward making a way to fit into their desire. Capitalize on their burning desire to strive deeper and deeper into the success they are experiencing and get on the ride if it is offered to you!
You won't look "dumb" if you choose the right timing after learning and listening to all that goes on around very successfull people. Successful individuals watch others and need others to help bring them to the next level. Don't be shy, bide your time, do what is right in your heart and at the perfect time reciprocity will come to you.l
Dwain… the Law of Resiprocity… Shall we go back to do unto others? Maybe not, Never stand in the fartherest corner of the room. Make yourself known, whether in subtle or outspoken ways. I prefer to let my actions speak for themselves. People in business that are in high powered positions are not always looking for the outspoken but for the steadiness of a job well done. All the eyes dotted and the t's crossed. As you go throughout your daily job or existence your motives and work ethics are noticed. When networking, think not only of what the other person can do for you, BUT what you have to offer the other person. Be the one that brings all the cards to the table. Work your brain, work your conversations, work every aspect into what you are setting your goal for. You never know who is watching your work ethic, your force, your knowledge, It all boils down to who you are. Helping others without expecting reciprocity in return, or understanding that every good gift is from above. If reciprocity is given back… then kudos to all those that are involved.